Never Trust a Promoter

It’s fun to watch the people you train with fight. You know how they move, how hard they hit, their weak points. You know how they deal with you, bobbing and parrying blows. You know what it feels like when one of your training partners finds that opening and the top of his glove catches you flush on your lower jaw.

And you want to see how well they’ll do against strangers in the ring.

Part of the fascination lies in the inevitable reflection of your own abilities. If your training partner does well, then you feel as if you have accomplished something too—whether this be a sense that you helped your partner get to this level or a more self-promotional thought, “If he can take this dude, then so could I.”

But it’s fun to watch a training partner fight even if he doesn’t do so well. The experience is akin to watching a TV drama of questionable merit and sitting through the whole episode just to see a friend who happens to be an extra in the background. Sometimes you’ll even find yourself cheering at the television and recommending the show to other friends based solely on the cameo.

During a fight night, there are two people in the ring at a time. And for the five-three minute rounds, all of the attention from the spectators is on them. And justifiably or not, you feel like you’re a part if that.

So it’s especially difficult to watch a training partner get put into the ring with someone who’s well out of his league.

The Ballad of Scottish Jack:

We were the second group from the camp to arrive at the stadium. Although transportation is never fully arranged beforehand, there always seem to be enough tuk-tuks, pickups and motorbikes to get around. We separated from the first group because we heard of a Muay Thai gear shop on Bangla road that would negotiate for cheaper ticket prices.

Our masterful haggling skills only got us free transportation from the shop to the location of the fight, Patong Stadium. They call it a stadium but it’s more of a dilapidated warehouse. Oppressive husks of masonry projects long abandoned stood like fractured sentinels, willing us to keep moving down the muddy road. The further we traveled, the more light the orphaned buildings seemed to absorb until the plywood shacks with corrugated tin roofs wedged gently between the cement structures were nearly impossible to see.

There was no discernable parking lot and the road didn’t open up as much as the stadium seemed to spill out of the darkness. But this was less a stadium by traditional Western standards and more a building that emerged by piling supplies in a heap and burrowing underneath. Albeit a large pile of supplies that could hold a boxing ring and a few hundred spectators.

Tuk-Tuk drivers floated around like white blood cells attacking any group of foreigners they saw, chanting, “You need Tuk-Tuk?” “Where you go?” “Tuk-Tuk?” “Tuk-Tuk!” Even the driver who took us to Patong stadium offered us a tuk-tuk as we were walking through the entrance of the only reason any foreigner would ever be in this part of town to watch the beginning of the very event we just paid the driver to see.

I put on my measured air of pleasant aloofness and handed my ticket to the counter who abruptly grabbed my bicep before waving me through. The secondary practice ring was pressed against the entrance wall, creating a bottleneck. We elbowed our way through, past the flaps of canvas and discarded turnbuckles. The building smelled less like a gym and more like a sweaty garden shed where teenagers would sneak away to smoke, drink and urinate on the walls.

But there was a ring surrounded by seats and a concession shanty. A group of older Thai men huddled to the left clutching their man-purses, smoking cigarettes and talking quietly. The fighters from the camp congregated cattycorner to the bathrooms, but next to the massage mats. We didn’t see Jack with them.

Over dinner we were joking about wanting to skip the fight because of the inclement weather but we went to support Jack. We’d trained with him for the last month and a half, through his exhibition bout with Jordan and through his eighteenth birthday. As we made our way to the ringside seats that the first group secured, Jack came out of the bathroom. He greeted us with a smile and followed us to the seats.

He was still wearing a t-shirt and jeans despite the second of ten fights taking place in the ring. Jack was to fight sixth.

“How are you feeling jack?”

“Alright, I guess. I wanna be out there.” He spoke quickly and motioned to the ring with his eyes. Jack shuffled his feet and said, “Yeah. I’m ready. Let’s get this over with.” But it sounded like “Yeh. Oim rredy. Less git thes uver wih.” Jack’s Highland accent is always a source of amusement at the camp.

“You’re going to kill him Jack,” someone shouted in support. He evaded the comment by smiling sheepishly and wandering away with an awkward wave.

We turned our concentration back to the fights in the ring. The 13-year-olds who looked like nine-year-olds were evenly matched, trading elbows to the head and knees to the ribs. Like many of the bouts between younger competitors, this would come to a decision. Unfortunately some of the peewee fights end in a knockout—no kid should be knocked out in a ring before growing pubic hair.

The rest of the fights passed well enough but there was no emotional resonance, no reason for us to really engage with the fighters. Jack kept popping into the seats in various stages of readiness.

Jack perched on the arm of my seat still wearing jeans but his shirt was gone.

An Aussie knocked out a fat tuk-tuk driver masquerading as a Muay Thai fighter.

Jack was now in Muay Thai shorts.

A trainer from the camp dispatched a lesser opponent in the third round.

Jack’s hands were taped and his body was fully lubricated with what smelled like Vic’s Vapor Rub.

Two Thai’s exchange points for five rounds—blue corner wins.

Jack was working the pads with one of the trainers.

The fight before Jack’s was tense. One of the fighters was a Thai trainer who had previously taught at the camp. He was tall and lean and he hit things like he wanted to kill them. I wanted to know why he left, but there’s a stigma about abandoning camps. At best you’re seen as a ship-jumper, at worst a traitor.

The ex-trainer nimbly jumped into the ring and removed his robe. He walked to the four turnbuckles and bowed at each of them, then moved to the center to perform the traditional Wai Kru Ram pre-fight dance for the crowd. His opponent joined him. The Thai music blared, sounding very much like Asian bagpipes. Maybe I was thinking about Jack too much.

Though the ex-trainer’s opponent was shorter, he was more thickly muscled. He had the kind of body that looked like he could roll down the stairs of an escalator and giggle about it. Since the ex-trainer had my build, I was still convinced he would win.

One of the old men with the man purses must have noticed how I studied the fighters and he walked up to me, “Which corner you take?”

I turned away from the ring to look at the old man, “I like tall-skinny. Red corner.”

“OK. I take blue. 200 Baht. You like?” His hand dived into his man purse and revealed a roll of bills.

“I’m in.” I handed two 100 Baht bills to the old man.

The first two rounds in a Muay Thai fight are never scored. This gives the fighters a chance to test one another out. They find their range. They gauge their opponents’ speed and power. They work on positioning. Unless one of the fighters feels he can get a quick KO.

The ex-trainer planted his front leg and threw his right foot into his opponent’s solar plexus, throwing him into the ropes. As the opponent bounced off, the ex-trainer had prepared a barrage of punches, elbows and knees designed to overwhelm the opponent. A right hook transitioned into an elbow, low kicks kept the opponent off balance and the knees to the body sapped the opponent’s strength.

And then I blinked.

The ex-trainer was felled by a flash of—something. His knees were straight and his arms made no move to brace for the blow of the canvas. His head bounced on the mat like a half-deflated basketball, ejecting his mouth guard in a thick red spray. Blood bubbled from is mouth. I just lost 200 Baht.

I don’t know whether Jack was watching the fight or if he was concentrating on having his first ever Muay Thai bout, but he showed no outward signs of being phased by the KO. He approached the ring, flanked by the entourage of corner men, cut men and flag bearers. He beat his 8oz gloves together and hopped from foot to foot.

Jack’s opponent was already in the ring. He was taller than Jack yet somehow more muscled. He barely moved his body but watched every movement Jack made. Jack avoided eye contact. But Jack almost always avoids eye contact.

The announcer read the fighter’s statistics off in garbled English. I was able to gather that Jack’s opponent was from France, or Sweden, and had fought before. It also sounded like tall, muscled French/Swede has a belt of some sort. Could I have heard that right?

I did not hear the announcer explain that this is Jack’s first ever Muay Thai bout; or that he’s 18; or that he’s been training for only a month and a half. It could have been the announcer’s poor English.

The tall, muscled (possibly belt-holding) French/Swede ignored the Wai Kru and stood in the corner. Sweat was rolling down his shaved head. His neck was arched like a vultures and his abs seemed to be breathing independently. His arms would have been at his sides but his lats pushed them away.

Fully clothed, Jack looks plump. At 18 years of age, baby fat still clings to him but he has a deep chest and thick legs built from years of playing Shinty. Jack had even proudly announced that he made the Scottish national shinty team and would not allow his mood soured by our pointing out that Scotland is the only country that plays shinty. Jack still won’t tell us whom the Scottish National Shinty Team competes against.

Jack’s Wai Kru seemed to drag on while the tall, muscled (possibly belt-holding) crazy-abbed, French/Swede’s determination was growing. By the time Jack finished, the tall, muscled (possibly belt-holding) crazy-abbed, French/Swede’s bloodlust was peaking. Jack still hadn’t made eye contact and wandered back to his corner and spoke briefly with his trainers.

“Ready?” the referee called.

“GET HIM JACK.” came a reply from the audience.

The competitors moved to the center of the ring and touched gloves. The determined, tall, muscled (possibly belt-holding) crazy-abbed, French/Swede bounced twice and attacked Jack with a flurry of kicks, and punches, hitting al of the levels of Jack’s body. Jack pretended that the blows left him unaffected—maybe if he pretended, it would somehow be true.

Jack received two sharp kicks to his lead leg and ate a right hook behind his left ear. He crumpled straight down, like all of the bones from his body had been removed at once. But he was awake before he hit the mat and sprung back up the moment his head hit his own knees. He looked around to check where he was but a few jabs reminded him before he could process it for himself. He was in a Muay Thai ring, being pummeled.

All of the supporters who came out to see Jack fight were screaming our throats hoarse for Jack to hang in there. By the time the first round ended, Jack had been knocked down twice and had been struck with dozens of shin kicks to the thigh. He limped to his corner and winced with pain.

While his corner men iced him down, the fighters from the camp tried to come to terms with the obvious mismatch. What is Jack doing? Why’s he fighting this guy? Who possibly thought this would be an even match?

The bell rang for the second round and Jack bounded to the center of the ring. He was rewarded for his exuberance with a flurry of punches to the head, another dozen kicks to the thigh and a referee stoppage.

When the determined, tall, muscled, crazy-abbed, French/Swede’s hand was raised in victory, a belt was slung around his waist and additional accolades heaped on him—none of which were intelligible.

In a round and a half, Jack had been efficiently dispatched by a competitor well above his own skill level.

This was the first time I saw such a mismatch but it wouldn’t be the last.